A New School Year Begins

Emmy is always very excited about the beginning of a new school year. She enjoys learning, meeting new people, finding out who will be in her classes, etc. She came home from her first day of school this year and it had not been pleasant. The school had instituted a new behavior policy which involved the students being in all day training sessions for 3 days. Therefore, there was no excitement about classes, friends, etc. Not great planning, from our perspective but we will have to be patient and wait a few days. The following week, we go to parents' night at the school where we are able to shadow our children as they attend all of their classes in an abbreviated fashion and learn about their courses. I was kind of dumbfounded to see that a particular girl, who had previously been a friend of Emmy's for many years, was in almost all of Emmy's classes. Now I realize that this should not be a big deal, but this girl had actually spewed alot of hateful comments at Emmy, mostly via internet. Emmy, being the kind of person she is, actually tried to calmly reason with this girl to no avail and we had decided that we just needed to stop communicating. What surprised me most was that Emmy had not even mentioned the fact that this girl was in all of her classes. When I mentioned it to her, she stated that she didn't think it would be a big deal. Within a couple of weeks and some more internet activity, I found myself going to the school to advise them of what was going on and asking for help. Within a day, we had Emmy's schedule discreetly adjusted and thought, phew, ok, now we can move forward.

Beginning Concerns

I remember one time when Emmy was in 3rd or 4th grade, she got off the school bus and started crying. We weren't sure what it was about but it must have happened before because I remember talking with her and explaining to her about being a girl and hormones making us think and feel things differently sometimes. That explanation worked really well for a few years. There was also the time when we were on a family vacation and she became irrationally upset about not being able to find a particular souvenier. She was crying and her dad tried to talk to her but it just made the situation worse. She was wailing and saying he should just "spank" her because she was just bad. We have never spanked our children. She eventually calmed down and yes, we eventually did find the souvenier.

A more concerning incident happened when she was about 11. She was in the bathroom and I went in to check on her as she had been in there for awhile. She had a magazine opened up to a page that had one of those little knick knack dogs that you had to mail order. She said that she really wanted it but she knew I wouldn't get it for her because it was just junk. This just came out of nowhere and she was nearly inconsolable. I later ordered the dog and gave it to her for Christmas. She had no memory of ever wanting the dog.

When Emmy was 12 I went in her room one day and found her looking at a photo album from when she was a baby. She was crying, looking at the pictures, saying that she knows she used to be happy and can't figure out why she can't be happy now. We again spent time talking about changes and how this was all a normal part of growing up.

Emmy is Amazing, Emmy is Different

From the time Emmy was very small, it was obvious that she was very smart. Taught herself to read at an early age and simply devoured all kinds of books. I remember taking her to the library when she was 5 or 6 and the look in her eyes when she realized that she had access to ALL the books in the library!

Her first really substantial interest was dinosaurs. This started when she was about 2 1/2 years old. It was incredible. She wanted to learn about every type of dinosaur (who knew there were so many?). She played with dinosaurs instead of dolls. Her younger sister would just fall into step behind her. As they got older, they would play together for hours and hours. I felt so blessed to have these 2 girls who could get along so well together.

Emmy's next interest was horses. She attended a horse camp with a very unique instructor. For the next couple of years we learned about all of the different horses and Emmy began writing detailed stories about horses and drawing horses. She took riding lessons for a couple of years and they were of great benefit to her in learning mental and physical toughness. Her instructor left and Emmy's interest began to wane. It was time to move on.

It was around this time that Emmy started to show an even greater aptitude for writing and drawing. Never being the "girly" type, she somehow was introduced to Pokemon and Naruto (DS games) and the whole world of Manga (Japanes graphic novels). Again, she shows us that her interests and abilities are amazing, yet different. As you can imagine, sometimes finding others who can "appreciate" her interests can be challenging, and sometimes, those who have similar interests may not be the best influences. This is where it all starts to get alot more complicated for my precious daughter.

In the Beginning...

Ok, so I am new to this. Bet that's never been said before! Anyway, I once had a dream...a dream that I didn't know would ever come true. You see, I was, let's say, a "late bloomer" in oh so many ways. Having come from a "difficult" background, it took me a long time to even think of being ready to take on the responsibilities of having a family of my own. So, entering my middle 30's it finally hit...my goodness, yes, I want to have a family and I need to start NOW. I put myself on an accelerated track to finding a mate. Once you decide to do something, you find it really can be done. We were married in 1997 and pregnant 2 months after the wedding! Our first daughter, Emmy, was born a month shy of my 39th birthday. Her sister followed exactly 2 years later. Being pregnant for the first time was absolutely the most thrilling time of my life. I read all the books. Even thereafter, throughout the first few years, I was always reading about all the stages of development, what to expect, etc. After those first years, the available reading material drops off dramatically. Fast forward and the girls are now 11 and 13. I find myself more and more alone on this journey. Gone are the "Mommy and Me" classes, Mom's support groups, etc. Many of us now are working either full or part time and/or are otherwise kept very busy just trying to tread water. We see each other and smile, not revealing how very difficult it can be dealing with our tweens and the love/hate relationship that is ever cycling. So, here I am, trying to navigate my way through these tumultuous times. Hope that others will join me on this journey.